In a world where athletes are celebrated as demi-gods (with paychecks to match) it should come as no surprise that people will lie, cheat, imbibe drugs or try to wack their opponent's knees with a pipe to be the best in the world.
Here's a new tactic however: Iran's "football governing body" conducted random tests on female football players and discovered – much to their dismay – that seven of their top players were actually men. But just in case you thought this was a Some Like It Hot kind of situation (now that is some BAD drag) these "female" players were found to be mid sex-change operations or suffering from sexual development orders.
In the wake of all this is-that-a-vagina-soaked mayhem, all seven players have been suspended and all female players will have to undergo – unannounced – but mandatory sex tests to prove their gender from here on out. Apparently medical processionals will also be showin' up to poke the players' nether bits prior to any prospective players signing future contracts as well.
Happily, Ahmad Hashemian, who heads up the Iranian football federation's medical committee, said as long as these players get their sh*t sorted out – "and solve their problems through surgery and be in a position to receive the necessary medical qualifications," – they're more than welcome to participate in women's football.
Um, just for the record, we're not into lying but damn! sex change surgery is intense. We kind of don't blame these guys for trying to skirt (get it!) the issue.
If you're feeling brave, you can check out the surgery below or read about one Englishman's experience here.
In other Iranian news, military conflict has escalated between America and Iran – with warships moving as we speak – and an Iranian poet has been executed for being an "enemy of God" ... so lady-men are perhaps, the least of the government's concerns right now.
